Have you ever found yourself scrolling through social media, only to feel a familiar knot in your stomach? You see a former colleague launching her exciting new business, a friend traveling the world in retirement, or someone else’s picture – perfect family, perfect life etc and the thought creeps in:
“How did they get there? Why isn’t my life like that? Am I falling behind?”
If this sounds familiar, please know this: you are not alone. This is the comparison trap, and it’s something so many incredible, accomplished women like you experience – especially during midlife transitions when we’re asking big questions like, “Is this all there is?”
Today, let’s gently untangle this web and remember why your journey is not only different but uniquely precious.
Why We Compare (It’s Not Your Fault)
Comparison often stems from a place of uncertainty. When we feel a little lost or stuck in our own lives, it’s natural to look outward for a roadmap. We think others have it all figured out.
But here’s the secret no one tells you: You’re comparing your behind-the-scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel.
That woman with the amazing new business? You don’t see her sleepless nights of worry. The couple on a perpetual vacation? You don’t see the sacrifices they made or the challenges they don’t post about.
Comparison is like looking at a finished, beautiful tapestry from the front while only seeing the tangled, messy knots on the back of your own. It’s an unfair fight from the start.
Your Path is Yours Alone: The Power of Your Uniqueness
Think about a garden. Would you ever say a rose is better than a sunflower? Or that a tomato plant is better than a rose plant because it produces edible fruit? Of course not. Each plant has its own soil, its own rhythm, its own purpose and beauty.
You, my friend, are a unique species. Your journey is built on a foundation that no one else shares:
- Your Core Values: What lights you up? Is it security? Adventure? Creativity? Community? Your values are your internal compass, and they won’t point the same direction as anyone else’s.
- Your Strengths: You have a magical combination of innate talents and hard-won skills that are entirely your own. The way you solve problems, connect with people, or create beauty is yours alone.
- Your Past: Your experiences—the triumphs and the stumbles—have given you wisdom and resilience that are irreplaceable. They’ve shaped you into the woman you are today.
Trying to follow someone else’s path is like trying to force a sunflower to grow in the shade. It goes against your very nature.
How to Step Out of the Trap and Back Into Your Power
It takes practice, but you can break the cycle of comparison. Here are a few gentle steps:
- Catch and Release: When you feel that jealous or inadequate feeling arise, simply notice it. Say to yourself, “Ah, there’s comparison again.” Don’t judge it. Instead, acknowledge it, accept it, and gently let the thought go.
- Curate Your Feed: Your social media should inspire you, not make you feel inadequate. Be ruthless! Unfollow accounts that trigger your comparison reflex. Fill your feed with voices that celebrate authenticity and self-discovery.
- Practice Gratitude for YOUR Journey: Shift your focus from what others have to what you have built. Take a moment to journal about your own strengths and a challenge you’ve overcome. Thank yourself for how far you’ve come.
- Get Curious About Yourself: Instead of asking “Why isn’t my life like hers?”, ask a more powerful question: “What do I truly want my life to feel like?” This shifts the focus from outside to inside – where your true answers lie.
Your Next Chapter is Waiting for You (Not a Copy of Hers)
Your journey isn’t about catching up to anyone else. It’s about coming home to yourself. It’s about unlocking the potential that has been there all along, waiting for your attention.
The feeling of being “stuck” or asking “is this all there is?” isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a sign of awakening. It’s your soul nudging you toward a life that is a truer, more joyful reflection of who you are at your core.
Ready to silence the noise of comparison and finally hear your own voice?
If you’re feeling the pull to define success on your own terms but aren’t sure how to start, I would be honored to help you find your way.
Together, we can:
- Uncover your core values so you have a clear compass for your next steps.
- Identify and leverage your unique strengths to build unshakable confidence.
- Create a personalized vision for a chapter that feels authentically, joyfully yours.
👉 Let’s Start the Conversation. Book a free, no-obligation Discovery Call with me.
We’ll talk about where you are, where you’d love to be, and whether working together is the right next step on your unique path.
Click Here to Book Your Free Call
