How to Identify What Truly Drives You
Ever have one of those quiet moments – maybe it’s late at night after a long day, or early on a Sunday morning with your coffee; a feeling washes over you – a gentle nudge, a quiet whisper asking, “Is this really it?” You’ve built a career, maybe raised a family, achieved things you’re proud of. Yet… something feels like it’s missing. A spark? A deeper sense of meaning? Direction?
If that resonates, you’re not alone. Many incredible women like us, right in this vibrant chapter of our 40s and 50s, reach a point where the external measures of success – the title, the salary, the busy schedule – just don’t feel quite enough anymore. We crave something more authentic, more aligned with who we truly are now.
That “something more” often starts with understanding your Core Values.
Think of your core values as your internal compass. They’re not about what you should value (like society, your family, or your job might tell you), but what you instinctively hold dear. They’re the fundamental beliefs and principles that light you up from the inside, guide your best decisions, and make you feel truly you when you honour them.
Why Bother Uncovering Them Now?
Because, beautiful friend, this is your time. You have a wealth of experience, wisdom, and self-awareness you didn’t have at 25. Knowing your core values now helps you:
- Make Decisions with Confidence: Facing a big career choice, a lifestyle shift, or even how to spend your precious free time? Values act as a filter. Does this option align with what matters most to me?
- Reduce Overwhelm & Stress: When you know what’s non-negotiable, it’s easier to say “no” to things that drain you and “yes” to what energizes you. Goodbye, constant people-pleasing fatigue!
- Find Deeper Fulfillment: Aligning your daily life – work, relationships, hobbies – with your values is the secret sauce to feeling genuinely satisfied and purposeful.
- Navigate Change Gracefully: Life keeps evolving. Knowing your anchor points (your values) gives you stability and clarity during transitions.
So, How Do You Find These Elusive Core Values?
You don’t need a fancy retreat (though those are nice!). You can start right where you are, with a notebook and some quiet reflection. Try these gentle prompts:
- The “Lit Up” Moments: Think back over the last year or two. When did you feel truly alive, deeply satisfied, or incredibly proud? What was happening? Who were you with? What values were being honoured in that moment? (e.g., Creativity helping your team solve a problem? Connection during a deep conversation? Making a tangible Impact?)
- The “Gritty Teeth” Moments: Conversely, what situations make you feel drained, frustrated, or deeply uncomfortable? What specific aspect of it grates on you? The feeling underneath the frustration often points to a value being violated (e.g., feeling micromanaged points to Autonomy; unfairness points to Justice).
- The “If Money Were No Object…” Dream: Forget practicality for a minute. If time and money weren’t constraints, how would you spend your days? What themes emerge? Learning? Adventure? Contributing to a cause? Building community? These desires are clues!
- Admiration Reflection: Who do you deeply admire (real people or characters)? What specific qualities do they embody that you resonate with? (e.g., Their Courage? Their Compassion? Their Integrity?) Often, we admire qualities we value in ourselves.
- Simple Word Scan: Look at a list of common values (here‘s one). Don’t overthink it! Quickly circle 10-15 words that jump out at you. Then, slowly whittle it down to your top 3-5. Ask yourself: “If I could only live by 3-5 guiding principles for the rest of my life, what would they be?”
Be Patient & Kind to Yourself:
This isn’t a test! There are no right or wrong answers, only your truth. Your values might shift subtly over time, and that’s okay. This is about tuning in, listening to that inner wisdom you’ve cultivated over decades.
What Happens When You Know Them?
Imagine waking up with a clearer sense of what truly matters to you. Imagine making choices – big and small – that feel deeply right because they resonate with your core. Imagine feeling more grounded, more authentic, and more excited about crafting the next incredible chapter of your life. That’s the power of living in alignment with your values.
Feeling Ready to Dive Deeper?
Uncovering your core values is a powerful journey of self-discovery, but sometimes, having a supportive thought partner can make all the difference. It can help you move beyond the list and truly integrate these values into your daily life, career, and dreams for the future.
If you’re feeling that quiet nudge towards more meaning, alignment, and fulfillment, I’d be honored to guide you. As a coach specifically for women navigating this rich and complex stage of life, I create a warm, confidential space for exploration.
Let’s uncover your unique compass together. Book a complimentary, no-obligation “Your Next Chapter” Discovery Call with me. We’ll chat about where you are, where you’d love to be, and how connecting with your core values can light the way.
👉 [Click Here to Schedule Your Free Discovery Call]
Here’s to uncovering what truly makes your heart sing,
Carol Edwin
Mindset & Empowerment Coach
P.S. Even just taking the first step of reflecting on these questions plants powerful seeds. Be proud of yourself for listening to that inner whisper seeking more. You deserve it. 💖
