How are you at accepting your imperfection? Does it make you feel embarrassed? When you make a mistake, do you wish the earth would swallow you up? Do you try to hide it? Or do you OWN your mistake, learn from it and pledge not to repeat it?
I used to feel like everybody noticed my imperfections – physically, mentally, emotionally. I used to be very harsh with myself when I slipped up. I had exceptionally high standards for myself and took myself way too seriously.
I beat myself up whenever I made a mistake. I got embarrassed that I (Carol, the Queen of Perfection) could made a mistake. I don’t mean a simple blush. I went all out to berate myself – in my head, of course (sane people don’t talk to themselves, right?) Even if I outwardly looked like my mistake wasn’t a big deal, inwardly I died a little every time I fell short of my own expectations.
I also have eczema on my face. It’s the first thing I notice when I look at the mirror, and therefore I used to think that it was what everyone else saw. This ‘imperfection’ made me want to hide sometimes. It made me feel embarrassed to be seen, in a way even unworthy to be around others.
Until I was asked how I would respond if it was my best friend who made the mistake, or fell short. How would I respond if it was my best friend who had a skin condition? It was so easy to say I’d be gentle with her, encourage her, and comfort her. Being compassionate with others comes naturally.
So why was it difficult to be that kind, compassionate and gentle with MYSELF? We often have high standards and expectations of ourselves. Yes, it’s great to have high standards and expectations. Holding ourselves accountable is great. Taking responsibility with kindness and compassion towards ourselves is greater.
When we learn to be kind and gentle with ourselves, our compassion for our external world increases. Honestly, the world could do with more compassion today.
