When we’re upset or worried (i.e. caught up in thoughts) one of the most challenging things to do is to find our inner calm. We tend to loop in our thinking and feel stuck.
I’ve worked with clients who were experiencing chaos in the mind. They themselves recognised that they were looping and couldn’t ‘ground’ or calm down. They had a fixed perspective and couldn’t see things any other way. This self-awareness is crucial in personal development. When we can see where our shortcomings or challenges are, we can take steps to change, to improve, to be better.
So what’s the purpose of finding our inner calm? When we connect with our inner calm, the ‘noise’ in our head is not as loud. We start to objectively connect with our emotions instead. We are able to weigh objectively on the actions we’ve taken, and see the actions that are needed. This is the space within which we can start to see things from a different perspective. This is also the space where we get clarity.
If you recognise that you get carried away with thoughts sometimes, here’s a suggestion on what you could do the next time it happens:
Sit comfortably somewhere quiet and close your eyes. Take a deep breath in, and fully exhale slowly, paying attention to your heartbeat. Do it again, and again, until you feel your heart rate slowing down.
Once you’ve accessed this inner calm which you would most likely feel within your body, focus on the emotion that’s standing out. Try to identify it – name it, accept it, acknowledge it and feel it thoroughly. Then think about your situation/issue. By now, because you’ve connected with your real emotion, your perspective would have shifted. Let your mind expand to look at other things that you never noticed before about your issue. Be patient and gentle with yourself as you do this. This is a space for exploration, not blame or harshness towards yourself.
If you feel yourself getting caught up with thoughts, focus on your breath or heartbeat to reconnect with your inner calm. Always be kind to yourself.
I recognise that this might be a little challenging especially if you’ve never done it before. Reach out to me if you need assistance.
